Yeah it's been awhile since I updated my journal, but I am a mommy as of August 5th, 2008 to the most beautiful baby boy in the whole wide world. He is absolutely gorgeous and can be seen at my myspace page or at his daddys website [link] .
It is a life changing thing having a child, but I thought it was jolt things a lot more than it has. Seth has fit very easily into our lives and I think that is in part because we did wait. I cannot wait to see how his personality blossoms and changes through the coming months and years. Maybe he'll be posting his own artwork someday!

5 more weeks to go before Jr. is supposed to make his debut. I was already sorta walking like a penguin, but not it's like full blown penguin walk. heh. Pretty soon our little guy will be in our arms though, wailing and pooping like babies do .
I'm also selling Avon now which is really cool. The more I learn about the company the more excited I feel to be a part of it. I feel so empowered to be my own boss. It's crazy. If anyone wants to order from my website I can send you a free shipping email for ya. Just go to [link]
I'm also feeling very into decorating lately and possibly writing. Maybe it's a side effect of the whole nesting instinct kicking in? Who knows. Course I'm so busy doing Avon, and cleaning(I cannot help it...I'm compelled to keep at least the kitchen clean)by the time I feel like I have a few minutes to sit down I kinda feel drained and have lots my creative energy.
Anywho. I miss so many people right now. I wish I could take all my old friends and go camping or tubing or something. Maybe someday again. heh

So yeah I haven't updated anything in awhile and that includes my journal. Let's see what happened since August 29th, 2007( my last journal). Ummm....I got an office job....then I finally got pregnant(by finally I mean we finally started trying and a month later got lucky), and we are closing on a house soon which rocks cuz I hate renting.

We're about 19 weeks along so the baby has been making it's little presence known for the last couple of weeks. Not enough where anyone else can feel it, but soon enough. In a couple of weeks we hope to know the sex. We have pick out some names either way though: Seth Nicholas, Autumn Nicole, or Summer Brook. HEh. We don't sorta sound like hippies or anything.

Anyways that's my happiness and all my busy nowadays.

Fear is a wonderful thing. It drives people to survive and do things they never thought possible. It also makes some things harder to do. So does lack of control.
I HATE driving. I have been rear ended twice in the last year and bare the scar of the worst on my forehead. I try to hard to push myself. I try to drive farther and faster. Pass again and not focus and the rear view. I still cannot perform as I may need to or should. I hate feeling ashamed of something that makes me panic inside. Sure I can drive a long time in the country. No problem. Drive on the belt line or into the heart of Raleigh? I think not.
As much as I feel bad and ashamed of this I feel I also know my limitations for now. Maybe in another year it won't be a big deal. Maybe someday I'll be convinced that I don't have to worry as much about everyone else. At this point I think my tolerance level is not so much that I don't pose a danger to myself and others as I near the belt line. Going 55 is daring enough. Even 60 is way stretching it....
So I'm weak. I can't fight hard enough against the fear. At least I'm respecting it and what it can do. Not all of us can be perfect.

So yay I've been doing some drawing again, nothing fancy but I missed my sharpie. Heh chose Spoof as my victim...er...I mean subject...lol.

Anyways. So yay Elijar and I are going to commence with the baby making in January. I suspect it will be as awesome as non baby making except with less birth control pills...teehee...

We're guessing at some point our children may want to talk to Spoof and call him some sort of name but with a limited child vocabulary they might have a hard time saying spoof. I'm betting my money on him being called Uncle Poo for awhile there until they work out the rest of it. Heh.